Hose Clamps and the VitaMeataVegaMobile

I have a 98 VW TDI. I bought this car last spring to replace the last (hopefully) in our string of disposable cars. (Disposable Cars... they barely run but have new inspection stickers you can buy for $500. Sure they're cobbled together with duct tape and baling wire, but whatever.. they run, they're cheap, and it beats the h*ll out of spending $350 a month on a car payment.)

I had spent the last 4-5 years wearing out one of these cars a year, and it was getting old. I decided to get a "new" car so I started searching.... I wanted a decent diesel to run on vegetable oil.

Yeah, I'm one of those freaks. I'm not going to bore you with a ton of background or the politics of biodiesel/vegetable oil, there are plenty of other websites for that... the long story short is this: vegetable oil is 100% C02 neutral, is grown in the USA, and it is a 100% renewable fuel.

A couple cars back and a few years ago I converted an 84 Jetta to run on straight vegetable oil (See it here->http://www.geocities.com/gogetbent74/VegCar.html) so I knew it worked, I just needed to find another diesel. And yes, It smells like french fries/chinese food/donuts/fish and chips/etc.

I got this latest car off ebay, a VW TDI is pretty tough to find in decent condition. They didn't make too many of these, and people who have them hate to sell them, and if they are selling them it's because they have a billion miles on them. This one had 98k miles and was local. Anyhow... I got it last March and love it... gets 47 mpg, is pretty quick, and has plenty of room to stuff all kinds of bikes/boats/people in and on.

This weekend I had planned to install a block heater which required I drain the antifreeze, remove a bunch of factory hoses, remove the oil filter etc. At the same time I was going to install the Ts into the heater hoses so I could cobble together another veggie system later this winter.

"No biggie" I thought.......... Then I read the directions.

When a manufacturer writes a line in their directions like this (paraphrased... I can't remember the exact text): "Factory Hose Clamps may seem inaccessible and may require a spring clamp removal tool or Dremel type tool for removal" Yeah right. MAY SEEM INACCESSIBLE my @ss. I spent about 6 hours removing these things, tucked up behind the oil filter, can only be reached from under the car. I tried channel locks, needle nose pliers, vice grips, and ended up dremeling them out, all working within the space about the volume of a softball.

So, if there are any VW engineers out there: What happened to positioning parts so they can be removed with the engine still in the car, using normal tools, and by normal humans, not double jointed aliens with magic tools and a lift ?!?

Owell. I got the car back together last night and my knuckles are torn up. I ripped out all the steel spring clamps on all the lines and replaced them with normal, stainless steel worm drive hose clamps.

You can open those with a screwdriver or a 5/16th socket.

From the top of the car.

Using normal human hands.