FARTAB V: The Re-awakening... Part 3

The camp was set up, an unadvised but surprisingly injury-free round of fire swinging occurred and cooking commenced. However, around the time dinner was served (thanks to the excellent cooking by BBW and KK), the sleepsy twins started nodding off:

It was barely 8:00, and in their defense, it was a long day on the river in the sun with G&J as their chosen beverage. That being said- it was not enough to stop us from entertaining ourselves at the expense of the one who decided to nod off in front of the fire instead of the relative safety of the tent...

Due to 40 worrying that some of the less tame pictures would make it on to the blog they were summarily deleted by him the next morning. I am still working out the punishment... Breakfast was a little tough for yours truly after an extra couple of barley pops and a late night of revelry. After breakfast was finished we heard the thunder start in, and kicked into high gear taking down camp and getting on the river. Seems EVERY time it rains during the final 'mile' of the river trip. And by 'rain' I mean 'epic storm':

All in all- it was a pretty great trip yet again. The iBucket delivery from 40 was JUST in time and operated perfectly. I was so psyched for that! Sleepy managed to stave off the sandman longer than two or three of our compatriots. Kaptain Krunch and Dogg had their first FARTAB experience and said that they might actually be willing to subject themselves to it again. BBW fell out of his kayak more times than I could count. GUDG got to fling a soccer ball around with reckless abandon and took full advantage of the 'family pass' staying up until the wee hours with yours truly in an attempt to lessen the amount of liquid cargo that would need to be transported the next morning.

So- until next year...

FARTAB V: The Re-awakening... Part 2

So- with poke-a-hottt-a$$ leading the way we continued down the river.


Stopping for the occasional (read: 'frequent') rest break:


And for Kaptain Krunch to show us his best 'Deliverance' impression:


Things got a little fuzzy for me after the mouse hole. I know we did our good deed for the day in sawing a path through a downed tree- during which I guess we broke BBW's great saw...

For a good portion of the trip we also managed to invent a new 'fappy-hun ball' game involving a beat up soccer ball I rescued along the way.

The new sport was done more while paddling, but during stops along the river provided another way to continue screwing around.

The rest of the afternoon was filled with a lot of falling off coolers, falling out of boats and falling off of docks (guilty...). Gravity was a strange mistress... When we came up to the Alton dam- one that always looks like you can go over but the water never seems high enough- I was lubricated enough to finally just do it. As was proved during WIFETAB a couple weeks later (and with a higher degree of sobriety)- this is the optimum way to ford said water feature, and I will never carry a kayak around it again. By the time we loaded up all our stuff (apparently with two canoes on the trip I did not need to carry a single thing- that is not the way it should be, but probably saved me from testing my waterproof packing capabilities) at the last portage and made it to the campsite, it was nearing dusk.

At which point, someone switched the CTLP doll to 'evil'...

FARTAB V: The Re-awakening... Part 1

I know- this is a LONG time coming.


It has taken me some time to come to terms with the slightly over the top debauchery and drunkeness that marked this FARTAB. Yikes. By the end of the trip there was more falling out of the boats than piloting them... Seeing as it was Dogg and Kaptain Krunch's first FARTAB, I felt pretty bad for them at first. Until they started to contribute to and raise the stakes in the level of play.


We started out innocently enough- we put together our supplies- Lyndie style:






Then hit the river:

We made it through the portage sections quickly:

But we also were making it through our adult beverages at an alarming rate. When I reviewed the pictures from the trip I noticed that at this point a disturbing trend started to emerge. I think it is best simply called: man nipples.

It was like everyone JUST found out they had them and felt they needed to point them out to me. Ugh...

Then the silliness REALLY began.

Something tells me...

...that I should pull all the large bullfrogs out of my pond.

Not sure what makes me think that is a good idea...

Oh yeah. Maybe that... I don't know why I never figured out how it was that they were getting so big and so fat. After playing tug of war with the frog trying to pull the fish back out, I scooped him up and dumped him in the stream. He can catch trout now instead of goldfish and koi.

And yes, I am well aware of the fact that I am probably expected (received three phone calls/emails about it already) to do a bit of a FARTAB Vol. 5 recap. I will get to it eventually. Once my stomach settles from having to see some of the pictures that I downloaded. YIKES.

If we hit it that hard next year, life preservers might be mandatory...